Counsels of a Weathered Hickory
Day 3: Write a Letter to Your Parents

Errr hey guys.

Um so I thought about what I wanted to write here, and weirdly enough I’ve had some revelations lately that I think I need to address.

I really, really wanted to write that I forgive you guys, but I think in the end I’m not quite able to do that yet. Technically there shouldn’t even be a need to, since erm though you caused the circumstances around me I’m still the primary factor in the changes to mah lyfe. But I think the fact I’m recognizing I still need to deal with it means it’ll all be okay. At least I’m not running anymore. 

And no worries, even if you’re not totes forgiven yet, I still love you guys. You’re still my parents. So don’t worry daddy, just take care of yourself. There’s no need to stress about what material possessions I want (hint: nothing) that you can tack on the words “I love you” to. Just chillax and be yourself, it’ll all work out in time. I’ll wait. And madre. Ohhhhh madre. I’m sorry I get cranky with you all the time. Though um, in a sense it’s cuz we’re close. Cuz I don’t really flip out on other people that much so…..I trust you? XD Lolz a fine reward I know but it’s still true. I’ll work on balancing myself better so there’s less snapping I promise.

But yeah don’t worry guys. I’m gonna be okay. You did a good job err “raising” me. “Rais…” -cough-. But either way I’m a pretty good product of life even if I am fucked up. Society thinks I’m a success anyway, so I’m halfway there right?! XD Haha but seriously. I’ll be fine. Don’t worry ^^ 

Take care of yourselves kay? 


Tif (with one “f” even though people think it’s weird because goddamnit this is how you guys have spelled it since forever and how was I supposed to know other people spelled it with two “f”s??? but it’s just too late now lolz so it’s one “f” forever)

Day 2: Write a Letter to Your Future Self (yeah, yeah late I know)

Dear Future Self,

Yo what up bro. I hope you’ve figured out how to be happy now, or at least you’re still traveling towards it. If you’re good, congrats! I always knew we could do it. If you’re not, no worries, remember that the only truth of the world is that at every second of every moment, everything is always changing. Each second, millisecond even, is a chance to start something new. Btw, did you ever take the year off? I’m planning for after senior year right now, but if something happened and you didn’t, make sure you do okay? We both know you probably need it.

Are you remembering to call mom? Did dad’s fiasco work out okay? What was kitty-woman after anyway lolz? The mysteries XD And Eric? We’ve been making progress lately so hopefully things continued down that track. What about the san-zhi-mao’s? Did Ah Gou really cut ties? Are Alex and Virginia married/have kids yet? Did ET turn out okay? Don’t forget to keep up with the family okay? You’ll miss them when they’re gone one day.

Sooooo which friend married first LOLZ. Did everyone who wanted to make it big yet? Did everyone who wanted to find their man? Does Ashni have cats? XD 

Wahh I feel like I just mostly have questions. I don’t think you need much from me, since you’re in the future so you’ve obviously grown! Just keep a clear head, trust your heart, and remember that you create your own reality. And everything will definitely be alright!


Tif 2014

After learning my flight was detained 4 hours,
I heard the announcement:
If anyone in the vicinity of gate 4-A understands any Arabic,
Please come to the gate immediately.

Well—one pauses these days. Gate 4-A was my own gate. I went there.
An older woman in full traditional Palestinian dress,
Just like my grandma wore, was crumpled to the floor, wailing loudly.
Help, said the flight service person. Talk to her. What is her
Problem? we told her the flight was going to be four hours late and she
Did this.

I put my arm around her and spoke to her haltingly.
Shu dow-a, shu- biduck habibti, stani stani schway, min fadlick,
Sho bit se-wee?

The minute she heard any words she knew—however poorly used—
She stopped crying.

She thought our flight had been canceled entirely.
She needed to be in El Paso for some major medical treatment the
Following day. I said no, no, we’re fine, you’ll get there, just late,

Who is picking you up? Let’s call him and tell him.
We called her son and I spoke with him in English.
I told him I would stay with his mother till we got on the plane and
Would ride next to her—Southwest.

She talked to him. Then we called her other sons just for the fun of it.

Then we called my dad and he and she spoke for a while in Arabic and
Found out of course they had ten shared friends.

Then I thought just for the heck of it why not call some Palestinian
Poets I know and let them chat with her. This all took up about 2 hours.

She was laughing a lot by then. Telling about her life. Answering

She had pulled a sack of homemade mamool cookies—little powdered
Sugar crumbly mounds stuffed with dates and nuts—out of her bag—
And was offering them to all the women at the gate.

To my amazement, not a single woman declined one. It was like a
Sacrament. The traveler from Argentina, the traveler from California,
The lovely woman from Laredo—we were all covered with the same
Powdered sugar. And smiling. There are no better cookies.

And then the airline broke out the free beverages from huge coolers—
Non-alcoholic—and the two little girls for our flight, one African
American, one Mexican American—ran around serving us all apple juice
And lemonade and they were covered with powdered sugar too.

And I noticed my new best friend—by now we were holding hands—
Had a potted plant poking out of her bag, some medicinal thing,

With green furry leaves. Such an old country traveling tradition. Always
Carry a plant. Always stay rooted to somewhere.

And I looked around that gate of late and weary ones and thought,
This is the world I want to live in. The shared world.

Not a single person in this gate—once the crying of confusion stopped
—has seemed apprehensive about any other person.

They took the cookies. I wanted to hug all those other women too.
This can still happen anywhere.

Not everything is lost.

Naomi Shihab Nye (b. 1952), “Wandering Around an Albuquerque Airport Terminal.” I think this poem may be making the rounds, this week, but that’s as it should be.  (via oliviacirce)

Umbrellas Street, Portugal.


Umbrellas Street, Portugal.

In 2016, would you prefer to be called Madame President or Mrs. President?
Day 1: Write a Letter to Your Past Self

Dear Me from the time I first got sad back amidst all that bullshit,

I honestly don’t remember you. Though you probably “wanted” it that way right? Don’t worry, I’ve already figured out by now that that’s not what you really wanted. And I’ll figure out who you are, and what lessons I need to learn from the messes you went through soon, okay? I promise. Don’t worry about us kiddo. We may not be alright yet, but we’re far from where you are now and we’re still moving right along. We’re going to be okay. Everything will definitely be alright.


Yourself ? years later

The Fourth

I am excited,

yet very scared. Either way,

the fourth approaches.


[Gifset: Laverne Cox speaks at the GLAAD media awards, she says,

"Each and every one of us has the capacity to be an oppressor. I want to encourage each and every one of us to interrogate how we might be an oppressor, and how we might be able to become liberators for ourselves and each other."]




Smart girls take a break when they can. Enjoy!


Andrei Tarkovsky’s “STALKER” (1979)

idk what this movie is about and i hope its not super out of context but i kind of identify with these couple of lines.