Editors’ Note: Following the huge popularity of this post, article source Amy Morin has authored a Dec. 3 guest post on exercises to increase mental strength here. For all the time executives spend concerned about physical strength and health, when it comes down to it, mental strength can mean even more. […]
I’ve been seeing this all around the goddamn internet, and it’s time to clear some shit up.
So here’s the thing. We’ve all heard “you’ve got to love yourself before you can love somebody else" right?
But no one actually knows or even bothers to think about what it actually means. They’ve just become empty words we say when you hear someone panic about not being good enough to find a romantic partner. And now we’ve got people going around saying “we love other people so much that there’s none left for ourselves”. Well guess what?
WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG.
You know what the REAL meaning of “you have to love yourself before you can love someone else” is?
It means YOU MUST FIRST LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF BEFORE YOU KNOW WHAT IT MEANS TO LOVE SOMEBODY ELSE.
Think about it. If you don’t even goddamn know how to take care of yourself and do what’s best for you, how in the name of everything on this goddamn earth or transcending it do you justify going around thinking you know how to take care of and do what’s best for other people?
Like seriously, you don’t even know yourself, with your mind and your heart in your OWN DAMN BODY, and you’re going to tell me that you know the needs and wants of someone else really well? Well enough to make them happier than they could ever make themselves? PLEASE.
I’m not saying there’s no point to relationships for people who haven’t learned to love themselves. The love you’re able to have for yourself is the love you are capable of having for others. And I mean actual love, not just going through the motions of it and saying “yes this proves I care”. And look the love that you DO have for each other is definitely worth something too. The point is to be in a relationship with someone who will help you LEARN to love yourself, and therefore grow the love you can have for them.
And besides, you can’t RUN OUT of love. You can run out of time to DISPLAY it but you can’t run out of LOVE itself. Love is something you HAVE not something you GIVE AWAY. If you think you can, then you’re clearly doing it wrong.
And thus, you would need to LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF so that you can LEARN TO LOVE ALL THE GODDAMN PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT.
And that’s all I have to say about that.
My beautiful darlings,
I’m so happy and proud
that you are growing up.
As you find love
and begin your journeys
with the companions you have found,
know that I wish you nothing less
than all the happiness in the world.
My darlings, enjoy life!
Take risks and spread your wings!
And laugh freely knowing
that, if ever the need arises,
I will always be here,
arms wide open,
to welcome you home.
|—||Audrey Hepburn (via larmoyante)|
Leslie Morgan Steiner was in an abusive relationship, though at first she didn’t realize it. In a talk at TEDxRainier, she tells the disturbing story of her relationship, correcting misconceptions many people hold about victims of domestic violence, and explaining how we can all help break the silence.
If you or someone you know is facing domestic violence or an absuive relationship, you can find a list of resources here. The U.S. National Sexual Assault Hotline is 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE), and RAINN offers a secure online hotline.